My Lost Words

Whispers in the wind
stolen within time
I so tried to explain
the real hurt and pain
isolated within my mind
you say you listen
but never took time
my words fragmented
scattered and changed
so often uninterrupted
clouded by a huge fog
what choice did I have
I withdraw even more
because no one heard
I cried deep down inside
I wanted to reach out
but no one was there
the door closed shut
I was barricaded out
never really allowed
or really understood
you wouldn’t let me in
easier to control me
than think I was right
locked out from life
an endless struggle
I had no one to hold
not even my hand
my words still echo
for me to share
and remind others
there is always hope
someone else there
I now feel renewed
energized and alive
I am back here to stay
I have returned with
a strength unknown
real sense of self
my smile has returned
and now for myself

Copyright  ©2010 Alyson Bradley

CONTRIBUTORS NOTE:
Alyson Bradley, grew up in London, where she worked in IT.  She moved to New Zealand about 6 years ago.  Alyson has been diagnosed with an interesting mix of  Aspergers, Bipolar, ADHD, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia.  She loves being creative and uses her knowledge and experience to self advocate on her private website.  Writing has helped her on her journey.

Soul Deep Isolation

Soul-deep isolation
alone among the crowds
so distant, disconnected
I thought about those words
Pen wrote “soul-deep isolation”
and I understood the meaning
those words made total sense
reminded me I am not alone
the ‘aspie’ community knows
understands when other do not
quirky, different, odd somehow
chaotic dark jumble thoughts
intensified cascade of chaos
complex analytic processing
engines full power, high speed
crash you can no longer think
just blank piercing empty pain
used up and then throw away
will I ever connect, be a real part
my destiny a parallel existence
I look upon all the smiling faces
like an alien, alienated, alone
another world that’s not mine
where I will never quite fit!

Copyright  ©2010 Alyson Bradley

CONTRIBUTORS NOTE:
Alyson Bradley, grew up in London, where she worked in IT.  She moved to New Zealand about 6 years ago.  Alyson has been diagnosed with an interesting mix of  Aspergers, Bipolar, ADHD, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia.  She loves being creative and uses her knowledge and experience to self advocate on her private website.  Writing has helped her on her journey.

Silent Pain

Silent Pain

Fake smile

….Fixed masks

…..Feeling hurt

……Forgotten place

…….Forever alone

……..Flowers wilted

………Feeble self

……….Frozen time

………..Face darkness

…………Falling down

………….Fists tight

…………..Fingers clinched

……………Found solitude

…………….Fading cracks

……………..Future hope

………………Forgive me

……………….For tomorrows

………………..Further sadness

Copyright  ©2010 Alyson Bradley

Contributors Note:
Alyson Bradley, grew up in London, where she worked in IT.  She moved to New Zealand about 6 years ago.  Alyson has been diagnosed with an interesting mix of  Aspergers, Bipolar, ADHD, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia.  She loves being creative and uses her knowledge and experience to self advocate on her private website.  Writing has helped her on her journey.