There is not a soul alive that seems to understand me

Not even my closest companions, not even my family

My bedroom drawer is packed with prescriptions

Making sleeping pills the main of my many addictions

Every social situation that I’ve tried hard to avoid

Has resulted in me being labelled paranoid

Regular visits to the clinic of psychiatry

But still, no one could help with my inner anxiety

The fear of being watched, judged and scrutinized

Has forced me to wish that one day I’d be euthanized

Ever since childhood, shyness was difficult to abolish

And throughout adolescence, seclusion was my only solace

Till this day, I pray to be saved from this internal disaster

If only I could convince God to answer.


Copyright © 2014 Grant Kingi

 Hello, my name is Grant Kingi and i’m a psychology student at Otago University. This poem I have written was inspired by the anxiety that I experience when in public or in social situations. I have not been diagnosed with social anxiety but I have undergone a series of psychiatric/ psychotherapeutic tests which indicate that I possess more milder symptoms of the disorder. I realize that the problem could be rooted deep in my past. As a child, I was shunted from foster home to foster home and as a consequence, I began to feel chronically insecure. This is my story…