My Depression is a Room

Vladstudio emotion 1024x768
Image via Wikipedia

with walls patterned
in a random design

confusing     distracting

drawing me deeper

where the floor’s an illusion
a step onto quicksand

unstable     unpredictable

sucking me down

where the ceiling swings with moods
caught on the scraps of words

frustration      strikes!

before I can duck

with a faint glow reaching
from a crack under the bolted door

my strength     determination

aren’t I lucky

where a sick experience of pain
washes through the naked space

uncomfortable     irritation

my gut reaction

where the atmosphere’s a firm conviction
that sleep is not a friend

the hours merely nag     mock

as cockroaches scuttle

Copyright © 2010 Kirsten Cliff

Kirsten Cliff currently spends her days creating a collection of haiga (haiku poems with images) to help her mentally and spiritually process her recent journey through leukaemia. Her haiku have been published in journals and anthologies, and placed in competitions, in both New Zealand and overseas. Kirsten lives with her fiancé (also a writer and poet) in a house dedicated to writing, “Wordsmith House”, in Papamoa, Bay of Plenty.


6 thoughts on “My Depression is a Room

  1. Jodine November 24, 2010 / 10:12 pm

    You are so on to it Janet. I’ve had depression for ever, and I am also a writer, poet, painter, musician and craftswoman. The point is, I FEEL. I am definitely susceptible to changes in environments/people, which is directly reflected by my moods. If I begin to slide, I have to make sure I have a soft landing, least I drop off into the abyss. Not a particularly pleasant place to be. Jx


    • Kirsten Cliff November 26, 2010 / 6:22 am

      Jodine – you are a very talented woman! So great to meet you in cyber space 🙂 Are you still hoping to make a book from some of the poems next year?
      Cheers, Kirsten x


      • Jodine November 27, 2010 / 1:40 am

        I hope so. I will need to get funding for the project though. I’m not so up with the play about HOW to do or apply for it, but maybe tie in with MH Week next year to have something launched. Your idea’s would be appreciated. Sadly i have only have your submission for the month of November… Not sure how to market either… Jx


    • Kirsten Cliff December 9, 2010 / 8:12 am

      I will keep my eyes open for funding opportunities re the book! Will email you re some ideas about getting the word out there. Cheers, Kirsten


  2. janet keen November 24, 2010 / 6:08 pm

    Yes great poem, really bought it back for me, the feeling of depression.
    I don’t know if it is a coincidence but I find a large number of artists and writers seem to suffer from depression.
    If I dont write, make art, walk and eat healthy food every day, I get depressed. If I hang out with just myself for too many days on end or I hang out with negative, nasty people who suck me dry, I get depressed.
    If I don’t read uplifting books or if the house gets too untidy or people are too critical of me I get depressed.
    I know I’m always prone to depression and it is a case of managing it.

    I think more people should feel open to discuss it and more people need to go to counsellors insterad of pushing it all down with addictions like alcohol.

    Counsellors if you get a good one are great.


    • Kirsten Cliff November 26, 2010 / 6:19 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed the poem, Janet. Thanks for taking the time to stop by, take it in and share your thoughts 🙂
      I’m the same also re your comments: If I don’t write, make art, etc., I start sliding to the negative side of being. Janet, there is a prose poem in what you’ve written with that strong “If I don’t…” repetition. Play with it and see what comes out, then send it off to Jodine! 🙂
      So good having this type of forum for approaching, exploring mental health. Big Ups to Jodine for rocking it out!


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